About A Boi

My life began January 7th, 1987 as a bouncing baby ... girl. (I know mistake right?) All through my child hood I was interested in bugs, getting dirty, cars, hanging out with the guys - doing guys things (bmx biking, skateboarding, playing video games, working on my bike etc.) Just seems so weird right? How could I possibly do those things and still pretend to be a "girl." In my eyes I always felt I was different, never fit in. I didn't fit in with the girls because I wasn't girly enough, never fit in with the guys because I was never manly enough. I tried to so hard to hide my feelings for fear of standing alone even more. I wanted so bad just to be excepted for me, for who I was.
When I was in middle school, you could say "I came out of the closet!" I told my friends I was a lesbian. Some friends said they already knew, some friends were a little shocked but ok with it, others were not ok with it and I actually lost some friends. I lived as a "lesbian" for a good 3 years and I was still feeling that I didn't fit in. I wasn't with myself, what I was identifying as - it didn't make me happy. I still felt as if I was hiding behind a mask but just didn't know what to do. When I was about 15 I made some friends online through a website. One of them I had been talking to for about 2 months before I finally started to realize why I felt so different. Why I felt so wrong in the body I had, I finally figured out "what was wrong with me." She had been telling me about her boyfriend of two years and how he was transitioning. I was so confused and so lost with all of this but so ready to learn! I felt I had found my golden ticket to happiness. At the time, I was with somebody and yes it was a girl. I sat down with her one day and had a serious long conversation with her. I told her my feelings about me, what my feelings were like when I was younger until that point in my life. What I had been talking to my friend about and what direction I wanted my life to go in. She sat there with awesome ears and a open heart, when I was finished talking she looked at me and smile and, then said "I was wondering when you were going to admit it and say something to me."
But what do I mean by "admit it?"
Thi is what I mean, I was never comfortable saying I was a girl or a lesbian. I was never comfortable wearing girl clothes or acting like a girl. I was never comfortable with my girl name nor my girl body. I made the choice to make a step towards my happiness and started identifying as a FTM (Female To Male) Transgender or for a shorter phrase a Tranny Boi. Just with that first step a great weight was lifted from my shoulders. For the next couple of years I read books, I did research online and I made friends that also identified as FTM's. As I continued my research it was becoming more and more clear to me that this was me. I was born in the wrong body.
Since I was about 15 I have been dressing as a male, I been acting like a male, you could pretty much say I have been living as a male for the last 7 years.
When I got with my current gf when I was only 18, I told her straight up my situation. I wasn't up for falling in love only to have my heart broken because of her thinking I was somebody that I am not. We have now been together for almost 5 years now and have 4 beautiful kids together. I also started my T Shots on December 12th, 2008. Everyday is a new experience and another memory. I'm estactic to be making journey to my inner self and to making myself happy!